Headline:
Wishing you the happiest of holidays.*

Footnote:
*Wait a second. If you had the happiest of holidays, everyone else’s would have to be less happy—including mine. Screw that.

The nitty-gritty:
• 5.5" x 4.25"
• Blank inside
• Letterpressed by hand
• Premium textured paper
• Coordinating square-flap envelope
• Packaged in a clear protective sleeve